ANOTHER LOSS

A few hours ago I got the news that my best friend, Joy Lackey, passed away at her home yesterday morning. Her husband called and told me. I am in shock. She was not only my best friend, she was my mentor. I am a writer today because of Joy. She encouraged me to pursue my interest in writing, while dealing with my late husband's prolonged illness and death. She edited my book of short stories. She saw the potential in each story and encouraged me to push myself to make each story the best it could be.

I've started working on a second book of short stories and she read three of my stories. I haven't seriously pursued my writing for years. I was busy finishing my degree in English Literature, so I really didn't have time to write, except for class. When I started writing again in spring of 2009, Joy encouraged me. I was working through a serious bout of depression. I am struggling with the radical changes in my life because of my back injury. It's difficult to accept the fact you are disabled, but I am. My mobility is limited and I'm in constant pain.

I finally realized that I could still do things I enjoyed, even though I spend most of my time reclining on the couch. On occasion I have to lay down in bed. I like to write, read, knit, and work on the PC. I can do all of that, even with my physical limitations. Once I realized I could partake of activities I enjoy, some of the depression started to recede.

I started writing down ideas for stories--actually memories of my childhood. I'm writing a memoir of my early years. I went back to the basics, a notebook and pencil. It was the first thing I learned from Joy when I started attending the local writers group. Carry a notebook and pencil with you all the time. It was a difficult time for me, but everyone in the group, especially Joy encouraged me to write. She saw my talent and potential. We quickly became friends. Not just friends, but writer friends. Whenever we talked, or spent time together we talkeed about writing.

The reality of the situation hasn't set in yet. I feel so sorry for her husband, Dave. He is such a sweet person. I've lived through the loss of my spouse, but I had three and a half years to prepare myself (if that's possible) for the inevitable. I can't begin to imagine what he's going through right now.

I'm in so much physical pain right now. The pain medication isn't helping at all. It's probably because I'm in shock over Joy's death. I don't know what to do. With Clennie, my late husband I had my sister-in-law and my Aunt Erma.

I had a faux friend that pretended to be interested, but she was just fishing for information so she could tell everyone at work what was going on with me. Then too, she viewed me as a "Mark". My family lived out in CA at the time. She took advantage of the fact I was vulnerable and I actually named her as executor in my will. I also named her as a beneficiary on an annuity. I finally realized what was going on when I fell and broke my back in 2 places. (Oh yes, I'd named her as my Medical Power of Attorney too). I tried to call her several times a day (at least 8 to 10 times a day) at various times through the day. I did this for 10 days, but I knew what was going on. She was screening her calls. She couldn't be bothered with the likes of me. On the 10th day, I went to her sister's house because we were planning to attend a NAMI meeting.

When I saw her sitting there, all flirty and full of herself, I got pissed off. I said something to her about trying to call her because I'd fallen. I reminded her that she was my Medical Power of Attorney and I could be dead and in the ground before she'd answer her phone. She screamed at me she didn't want to be my MPOA, so I said that was fine with me. I figured if she couldn't be bothered with that responsibility, then I didn't want her as executor of my will. So within a week I changed everything. Would any rational person blame me? I don't want someone like her deciding whether the doctors should pull the plug or not. It was crystal clear from that point on that her only interest in me was what money and material possessions I had. She and her family are Grifters and I was one of her "Marks". For 25 years I considered her a friend, but she saw me as her next victim.

As soon as she found out I'd changed my will, everything changed. I'd started seeing her niece's ex-husband. Her niece didn't want him, but she didn't want anyone else to have him, so she told my former "friend" a bunch of lies. That provided my "friend" the "Out" she needed to get rid of me as a friend, plain and simple.

Joy was the kind of friend where you could go for months and never have any contact; yet the moment we saw each other, we picked up right where we left off. She was a true friend that was always there for me and vice versa. We were planning a weekend in Charleston to celebrate the fact I'd started receiving my Social Security Disability. I was going to introduce her to my Aunt Rose and all my cousins. But it wasn't meant to be...The last time we were in Charleston for the book festival, she was proofing a couple of my stories. We ordered Chinese from Main Kwon. She ate and ate all evening long. She used an eyeliner pencil to do some edits on my stories. Then we went down to the lobby and the area where they serve breakfast. We filled our pockets with packets of jelly and peanut butter and tea bags. The next morning, we loaded up again. We had so much fun. Little did I know that it would be our last road trip, ever...

Dear little Joyful, I will miss my visits to your home, our mini writer's meetings, our long phone conversations, our witty emails--I will miss my best friend...Rest in Peace Bunny Rabbit.